


Love Expert

by patton_pending



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Aromantic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Aromantic Dr. Emile Picani, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Nonbinary Dr. Emile Picani, Trans Logic | Logan Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patton_pending/pseuds/patton_pending
Summary: Roman is always fixing his friends up with dates, but can’t figure out why he, himself, is single. Perhaps an old friend can clue him in.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Nico Flores/Thomas Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	Love Expert

Roman was on the case, no matter the case. Scoping out the perfect match for his friends, searching high and low. He was practically a love expert by this point. So many wondered why he was single.

Including himself.

"Roman, are you sure about this?" Thomas asked as they sat together in the food court across from each other.

"Absolutely. Isn't the food court where you get yourself a snacc?"

"Alright, I guess. Although the mall is a bit empty right now."

"So we lie low until the right person comes alo- oh _hello_!"

The most beautiful man came into Roman's view, carrying a laptop and backpack and sitting at the table across from them. It was practically kismet. Roman turned Thomas's head towards the perfect angel.

"No," Thomas murmured, turning his head back around. "He's out of my league."

"Don't be ridiculous, Thomas," Roman whispered. "You got this, okay?"

Thomas softly sighed, giving a sharp nod. "Alright. I got this... I guess."

"Just follow my lead."

"Your who did what now—"

Roman opened the end of his straw wrapper and placed the straw to his lips. He aimed the straw towards the man across the way and let out a strong puff of air. As expected, the wrapper went sailing towards the handsome stranger and landed in front of him. He looked up and saw them.

"Oh, silly me!" Roman declared. "Completely missed! Sorry, sir!"

"Oh, no worries!" he replied with a smile. "I actually love doing that with the straw," he added, chuckling a bit.

"You know, I really need to give my Aunt Patty a call. Do you mind keeping my friend company until I get back? Won't be but a minute."

The man seemed almost as surprised as Thomas, but his smile grew. "No problem at all. As long as... your friend is okay... with that?"

Roman gave Thomas a pleading look. Thomas rolled his eyes and went to the cute boy's table.

"Hi. I'm Thomas," he greeted, holding out his hand for his new love interest to shake.

"Nico," he introduced, shaking Thomas's hand. He looked to Roman. "And you are...?"

"Roman! A pleasure making your acquaintance! Now, I really must make that call, you two have fun!"

Roman walked off in a random direction, pulling out his phone as he sat nondescriptly at a table. He put his phone to his ear and watched ever so carefully as his master plan carried out before his eyes.

They were talking. They were both smiling. Very good signs. Roman only wished he could hear what they were saying. They both suddenly laughed, Thomas must have said something funny, he was very good at that sort of thing.

Roman wasn't sure when he should return to them. He didn't want to ruin their moment but the longer he waited the more he wanted to know how it was going. He had to ask Thomas about every detail.

Another few minutes passed, Roman continuing to pretend to talk on the phone whilst sneaking glances at the two lovebirds. Nico suddenly rose from his seat, handing Thomas a slip of paper. Roman bit back a smile, knowing that a phone number must have been written there. He walked away and Thomas looked directly at Roman.

He panicked and looked in a random direction, acting casual as though he hadn't been essentially stalking his friend. He glanced back towards Thomas, who was now approaching him with a smile on his face. Very promising.

He sat across from Roman. "Nico knew you were trying to set us up, I hope you know that."

"Curses!" Roman exclaimed. "Well, in spite of that, how did everything go, Romeo?"

"Well I got his number, if that's any indication," Thomas said shyly, a blush blossoming across his cheeks.

Roman clapped his hands excitedly. "I'm so proud of you! What's he like?"

"He's sweet and charming and funny! He writes songs and poetry, he's a tennis player, and he acts! We have so much in common. Except for the tennis thing. I might take up tennis, who knows."

"He sounds like a catch! I'm really happy for you, Thomas."

"Thanks, Ro. For... everything."

"Of course! What are friends for?"

"And hey, if you ever want me to return the favour and find you a hot date, lemme know."

Roman chuckled. "Trust me, Thomas, I'll know when the moment's right. It's all about patience."

Thomas raised an eyebrow. "Says the one who practically dragged me out of the house to look for a date."

"Because I knew the moment was right!"

Thomas rolled his eyes fondly. "You knew the moment you were _bored_."

Roman scoffed indignantly. "You take that back, Slanders!" 

"I will do no such thing."

"You evil, evil man."

They continued to banter back and forth for a little while until they decided to go their separate ways. Roman got into his car and idly wondered when he _would_ find a date for himself.

***

"This is too formal, Romy," Remus insisted, tugging at the collar of his white button up.

"Rei, I promise you, it's perfect. I'm the love expert, remember?"

"You may be a love expert but that doesn't make you a fashion expert."

Roman raised an eyebrow. "Says the one who wears neon green tank tops and dark brown cargo shorts as a business casual outfit."

"It's a statement and you know it!"

Remus had matched up with someone on OkCupid, per Roman's advice. Now he had a date, and Roman was there to help him pick out an outfit. Unfortunately, Remus was never the most... well-dressed person.

"Listen, this is your first date, you want to make a good first impression," Roman said. "You're going to Il Vigneto, one of the fanciest restaurants in town. You must dress for the occasion."

Remus adjusted his black waistcoat for the umpteenth time. "Can't there be just a bit of colour? I feel so boring."

Roman sighed. "No green."

Remus pouted and crossed his arms. "You're no fun, you know that's my favourite."

"I have a red button up if you'd like."

"Ugh, fine, I guess."

Remus got dressed in Roman's long sleeved wine red button up dress shirt, still wearing the black waistcoat and some matching black slacks and black loafers. He added some colourful socks for some subtle flair, which Roman approved of since no one was going to see his socks anyway.

"Alright, let's get you to your date," Roman said with a smile.

"I swear you're more excited about this than _I_ am."

"Well, you know I love a blossoming romance!"

"And you're nosy."

"That, too!"

They got to the restaurant, a plan set in place. Remus would go in first, then Roman would follow a few minutes after. He would keep an eye on things and make sure Remus didn't say something too embarrassing using their almost patented twin telepathy. They... almost had it down to a science.

Remus went in and Roman timed the five minutes he needed to wait before going in himself. He was nervous for his brother, he really was. He was sure things would go smoothly, though. He could feel it.

The five minutes passed and Roman went in. He got a seat at a table that was right next to Remus's, which was almost perfect. The only problem being that Remus's date would see the identical twin sitting right by them.

"Is this a problem?" Roman whispered to Remus.

"Maybe he won't recognise you without my moustache?"

"Maybe. I'll try to hide my face though, just in case."

"Okay. I'm nervous."

"Just breathe, Remus, everything will be fine. Just... be yourself."

Remus paused, looking over at Roman. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Alright. But how do I make a good first impression while being myself?"

Roman swore his heart broke in two. "Hey. Don't talk like that. Just stay calm and relaxed and don't get too loud, you'll do great."

"But loudness is half of my personality."

Roman didn't get a chance to respond as someone began approaching them, and he recognised that someone as Remus's date — he had, of course, demanded to see pictures at the beginning of the courtship. He quickly hid his face behind his menu and listened to their conversation.

"Oh, hey, Logan!" Remus greeted.

"Hello, Remus," Logan greeted back. "Uh, sorry if I sound a bit stiff, I'm just... nervous."

"Doesn't bother me! I'm... a bit nervous too."

Logan sighed softly, likely relieved. "I'm glad it's not just me, then."

Roman continued listening to them, mentally cheering Remus on. He was doing fairly well and Roman couldn't help but smile. He was caught off guard suddenly when a waiter asked what he wanted to drink, and he suddenly remembered he had to order things. He ordered an ice water and the waiter then left.

"I know a first date is an odd place for confessions, but I'm afraid I have one," Logan admitted, making Roman's heart leap. What on earth did he mean by that?

"Ooh, intriguing!" Remus said. "Confess away!"

Logan took a deep breath. "Perhaps I should have told you sooner, but... I'm a... trans man."

Roman was filled with many emotions by hearing Logan come out. Pride, relief, shock, joy. He only hoped Remus would react appropriately.

"Oh!" Remus said, clearly surprised. "That's cool! He/him still, right?"

A short pause. "Uh, yes. I... I'm glad you're... supportive. Nothing against you, I was just worried that... you might not be... but I had to say something now because the longer I wait before saying something like that, the more difficult it would be. And now I'm rambling." He chuckled awkwardly. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I like rambles. I ramble too! Wanna hear me ramble about my favourite serial killers?"

Roman facepalmed.

"You have favourite serial killers?" Logan asked. Though if Roman didn't know any better, he'd say Logan sounded more genuinely interested than put off.

"Yeah! Have you heard of The Jeffrey Dahmer Files? One of my all time favourite documentaries!"

"Heard of it? I've _seen_ it. Jeffrey Dahmer was a fascinating individual."

Roman was downright flabbergasted. How was it that Remus managed to find someone with the same strange tastes that he had? Perhaps Roman should give online dating another shot.

The date was a complete success and quite frankly, Roman couldn't have been more proud of his brother. Remus and Logan went out to the parking lot together and as much as Roman wanted to know what they were up to, he decided they deserved a private moment without a nosy twin.

Roman finished up his food and paid his bill and went out to his car. Remus was waiting there, flapping his hands a bit and smiling brightly.

"Hey there, Mr Romantic!" Roman greeted.

"He's so nice and cute and smart and sarcastic and sweet and is it too early to say I might love him?"

Roman chuckled. "Well, everyone goes at a different pace. Maybe just hold off on saying it for now."

"Oh yeah, of course. But he's so nice! He told me he had a great time, and Ro, _I_ had a great time!"

"Something else you have in common," Roman joked.

"I'm really happy!" Remus exclaimed, his stimming growing more intense.

"And I'm happy for you."

He meant it. Though he longed for some of that happiness for himself.

***

"Roman, he's out of my league," Virgil insisted as they sat side by side at the bar, looking over at the leather clad cutie at one of the tables with a coffee.

"I've heard this phrase before, my friend, but I can assure you that leagues don't exist in true love, only in basketball."

"You mean baseball?"

"Maybe. You know I'm not a sports guy. C'mon, go and talk to him. Just try. You got this, tiger. I believe in you."

Virgil took a deep breath. He seemed deep in thought, as though he was mentally hyping himself up. He eventually got out of his seat and slowly made his way toward the stranger.

Roman smiled to himself. Another success was surely coming his way. He watched, but did his best not to stare. Virgil was, indeed, talking to the guy, which was enough to make Roman proud.

His eyes then wandered around the room, looking at all the young faces in the crowd. None called to him for a shot at romance like they did when he was searching on a friend's behalf. He only found romance between others, never for himself.

Was he burnt out on love?

"Roman!"

Just as he was beginning to depress himself, he heard a familiar voice. He looked over at the entrance to the bar and saw his friend Emile. Despite his depressing thoughts, he couldn't help but smile.

"Emile!" he greeted as they took a seat next to him. "How've you been?"

"I've been extra good! As of today, I am officially a licensed therapist!"

Roman's smile widened. "Oh my gosh, Emile, that's incredible! Congratulations!"

"Thank you! I'm so excited about it! So how are you?"

He paused for a moment. "Oh, I'm good. I'm actually here with my friend Virgil—" He looked over where Virgil was, finding him kissing the guy in the leather jacket. A surprise to say the least, but it was rather amusing at the same time.

"Seems... preoccupied," Emile said flatly, chuckling awkwardly.

Roman decided he needed to open up slightly. Emile was possibly the best person to open up to, so he needed to seize his moment.

"So, since you're a therapist now, think you could use me as a guinea pig?"

Emile tilted their head to the side a bit. "Guinea pig?"

"Yeah, you know, you- as a therapist, you'd talk things out with people. You wanna try it on me and... practice?"

Emile smiled small. "Roman, you know you can't be my patient, right?"

"No, I know. I just... please?"

His small tone of voice seemed to catch Emile off guard. "Ro—"

"Okay, just- how about some friendly advice, then?"

They paused for a moment. "Alright. That, I can do."

Roman took a breath. "How do I... fall in love?"

"You- you wanna know how to fall in love?" Emile asked in shock, Roman nodding his head. They chuckled softly. "Oh, Roman, you are asking the _very_ wrong person."

Roman furrowed his eyebrows. "What's that mean, exactly?"

"You don't know what romantic attraction feels like, do you?" they asked, ignoring Roman's question.

"Not... really? I mean, I know theoretically. Like, the movies say your heart races and your palms get sweaty and it's hard to breathe. Honestly, it sounds like an anxiety attack in a lot of ways."

Emile chuckled. "It really does. Ro, have you ever heard the term aromantic?"

He thought for a moment. "Uh, it sounds familiar, but I don't think so. What's it mean?"

"It's an orientation in the LGBT community. It's actually a spectrum, but some choose to use the term as a label. It means not experiencing romantic attraction."

Roman blinked. Was Emile being serious?

"That's... normal?" he asked softly, feeling his throat close up.

"Absolutely. There are so many aromantic people out there, and I'm one of them."

Roman took in a stuttered breath. He covered his mouth with one hand to keep from crying. He couldn't believe there was a label for someone like him. It fit entirely too well. It was too good to be true.

"You good, Ro?" Emile asked.

"I thought there was something wrong with me," he murmured, a tear finally slipping past. "I was so worried, over nothing. I'm... aromantic. That's me. Emile... thank you."

Emile smiled. "Of course. You need a hug?"

Roman nodded, and Emile wrapped him up in a warm hug. Roman cried into their shoulder a bit, but they were tears of joy. He finally understood himself better than he ever thought possible.

He could finally find peace knowing he wasn't broken.


End file.
